the midterm exam...

i have just done the first midterm...feel so sad,i did it badly...this is because i feel nervous for every test or examination no matter is important of even small test,i just couldn't do as what i usually do for homework. i feel myself so stupid , which is what i used to feel start from ICPU. i'm always a few paces late than other people no matter in daily life or in studies. i will not blame anyone for my failure as i know this is my own mistake. i feel myself so old as if already experienced a lot in the life...not young anymore,thus exhausted to change my life...i couldn't think of any way to make me young (intellectually). life is always hard for everyone,as what i feel now you guys will most probably have experienced... that's the reason why i will not blame anyone. my moderate behaviour makes me lead a peaceful life which is no laughter and no tear. sometimes this really hurt me. i wish i have a very close friend that understand my condition and reliable for me to share my pain...i do not need this person consoles me when i am upsad, this person just need to be with me and stay quiet. i will really appreciate it...