cloudy like the sky today...

it has been cloudy for the whole day in Edmonton.my mood for today just like the weather, cloudy and dry...i wasn't sleeping well last night maybe is because i'm quite nervous for this morning's interview in the hospital. luckily the interview went smoothly :) since i wasn't slept well last night, i made him lack of sleep too...i feel so guilty for that. perhaps this is the main reason why i'm moody for the whole day. i shouldn't "stick" with him too much although i miss him always. it is very hard for me to distance him since it was not easy for this relationship to germinate. we're slowly building up the base of this relationship.hopefully everything goes fine :)
in today's english class, we discussed about the "mask". then i realized that actually there are many people wearing their mask in their daily life. i found it very fake and uneasy to pretend. is this the reason for them to protect themselves?? why would them do so?? maybe my heart isn't pure enough, the reason that i can think of is that they are gaining benefit from being wearing the mask. if you know something, why don't you just tell out loud?? pretending to be innocent (or know nothing) is your best way to ignore your responsibilities. you are no longer a kid, you should know that people have no responsibility to help you and he also has his own problem. people, please don't forget to show your gratitude to the people who always help you. don't get me wrong, i'm not the one who help people and hoping for reward. i dislike you for being "INNOCENT" and don't care about the things happening around you!!

感激遇到你

i don't know how to describe me feeling now.it's so sweet and i feel like i don't deserve it. the deeper i know him, the more valiant i think he is. he is such great and nice that makes me feel that i'm very "innocent"- meaning that i know very limited things compared to him. i'm just like a kid when i'm with him. however, his knowledge makes me feel very safe when i'm with him. whenever i have any problem or don't understand something, he will give me answer or if he wasn't sure about that matter, he will seek answer for me. it's too lucky to have him with me. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!:)
although i had one before, but i've never experienced being treat so right by someone who is not my bf. i just can say that i'm very lucky and appreciate everything i'm having now.hope we can have a positive progression soon:P

moody...

how to say...i really don't know how to describe my feeling now...i'm happy that he told me where he was this morning.but he did not reply me when he has reached NY.i know he is busy with his matters, so i just feel a bit upset. Anyway,just hope that everything goes smoothly for him. Today went to senior's place to have dinner,but i did not talk much in his place. Then everyone knows i'm moody. haiz....why i cannot hide all my expressions?i'm just too true and dont know how to act like nothing happen. i'm moody because i miss him...although i rarely see him,but i will online everyday,hoping that he will find me to chat...I know that's really stupid, is like waiting for something almost impossible. hmm...i'd already used to this feeling already,is just disappointment...well,nevermind,because i know that i can forget him when he is not in Edmonton anymore...at least i will try my best to forget him...at his place, i saw his work on his computer. he had wrote some sort of paperwork, for me, it looks like some journal article. it really impressed me,this is my first time to see his work. i know that he is brilliant in many fields, but this article is his hard work, he must has put a lot of efforts in it. i hope he can get a good grade from this paper. all the best for his future.

the starting of "battle"

now is the time for me to start the battle with myself...but one thing streaming in my mind which makes me hard to focus on studies...i know i shouldn't have that thought in my mind because it will not help me in any way,worse to worse,it might affect my studies. but sometimes this thing also motivates me when i was down. the memories are very sweet (at least it is sweet in my thought), and some are interesting...i realized that i couldn't force myself to forget this, therefore i just accept it and try my best to make it the motivation for me to study. family's support is very important too!!because when i think of them,i will feel warm,just like the lyric below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPKgbmcuOMk&feature=PlayList&p=214AE0F0EA17BE9D&playnext_from=PL&index=0&playnext=1
this is really a good song (at least i think the lyrics suits my feeling now in Edmonton.)
i miss him...i really miss him...everyday i'm counting...how many days since i last chatted with him...does he miss him too??but i already know the answer,there is no use to hope or imagine the answer that i want to know...he wont miss me....

Aurora

i couldn't believe that i saw aurora the first time in my life in Elk Island National Park!it was really amazing and beautiful...staring at this phenomena,i couldn't think of anything.my brain was empty and my facial expression filled with jovial!i was very excited and amazed by the scenery in front of me!it was light green with different patterns on the sky.i thought aurora is just a static light shine in the sky,yet i was wrong until i saw it by myself.Aurora was a moving pattern of the light in the night sky.As described by Jeff,it was like a piece of paper waving in the sky.sometimes it shone above the horizontal level of it initial position. then,it faded away from here and move to the other side of the sky...when it had occupied the north part of the sky,it then opened up a channel in the middle part of the sky just like the way we open up a curtain of a window. it was really an amazing night show in the sky!Aurora appeared for about 15 minutes and it just slowly faded away...however, the show will eternally remained in my mind as the most memorable memory in Edmonton!:)
on my way back to campus,i saw the night view of Edmonton.though the blinking roadway decoration and highway lamps were so attractive, yet it still couldn't replace the amazing northen light! it will be the most astonished light show that i have ever seen in my life!i hope i can have another chance to see it again:)

goodbye Chinese New Year

All celebrations for Chinese New Year have completed...now is time to focus on studies.
it was really fun to celebrate festival with a lot of close seniors.it's really feel like a gathering in a family, sit around a round table, chatting, eating and playing cards!!oh~i'm gonna miss this moment very much....felt so warm in my heart,i like this feeling very much...
however, the food for formal dinner was not delicious as i expected...i rather pay the $20 to my seniors and ask them to cook for us.haha!!
ok la,since i didn't take photos with my camera,so i unable to upload it on facebook. hoping that someone will tag me lo...
新年进步!!!

end of story....

i have decided to forget about it before i'm going too deep...
is time to wake up from dream...this story shouldn't have started initially...
maybe i just too lonely at that time,but now i'd used to the loneliness ad...or perhaps,i have accepted Kin as my intimate and i can share my worries with her ad...
anyway,is good to make this decision now,so that i will not get hurt too deeply.
i promise myself i will live happily and forget this story...
be friend is good as friendship will never end...
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