a boring day~

hmm....Starcraft 2 has an impact on my life now because it has "partially" taken Mr. jy away from me...oh well,this might be a good thing for me so that i can focus more on studies to write my essay :)
i'm not jealous or what, because i let him play as long as he doesn't obsessed to it which means he won't play until forget to eat and sleep. sometimes i also show my temper and acting "jealous" just to upset him, because i'm too naughty!hehe :P
since i'm just taking one course for this term, i have much time to practice or improve my cooking skills!so,i stored a lot of food in the fridge so that i can cook it whenever i feel bored. i've tried to make a lot of "home-style" food such as steamed eggs with pork ground,fried fish, pork chop, fried bihun and so on...haha!!guess who is my "white rat"???haha!of course is my poor Mr.Jy lor~haha...okla, so this is what i do when i'm bored!cooking,facebooking,reading books,and sometimes blogging :P
what a relaxing summer for me!!haha~hope you guys enjoy the sunlight as i do here!! :)

birthday~

i have a wonderful birthday celebration yesterday with a person.we went to have hotpot in a restaurant in China Town. i didn't have a birthday party with friends, but still Kin, Jeff and other friends still come to my place wishing me happy birthday!thanks a lot to my friends.i felt surprise because my Beloved Ex-roomate sent me a message from M'sia!!i was really happy and felt so touch because of her~thanks Chook Teng!!!the night before my birthday, he accompanied me and count down for my birthday.i was so happy because he accompanied me for the whole night and gave me a teddy bear as my present.it is so cute and its posture: open up its hands makes me feel like hugging it.it seems like saying: "mama, hug hug!!" because it is black colour, so i called it "o o", meaning "black black" in Hokkien. haha :D
we talked about many things but one of it was talking about how my ex treated me and how was our relationship began.i'm glad that he asked this because he is concerns about my past. of course, there is my turn to ask about his past lo!haha!!he is so adorable and obedient. he told me everything that i asked for. i feel so lucky and contented to look at his face while he was eating. he is just like a child, first time experience to be in love. he also gives me a sense of secure when he told his parents about our relationship. i feel safe and have more confidence in this relationship because i always worry about the long-lasting of our relationship. since he treats me so well, i will appreciate it too.i cooked some food for him because i know him will be very lazy to cook after starcraft 2 published. as expected, he is playing it for the whole day.i'm not angry with him because of his obsession towards the game, surprisingly, i create more space for him to play. i be a messenger to deliver him lunch and dinner that i've cooked. i went back home immediately after seeing him finished the lunch because i don't want to disturb him plays game.
To all my friends who concern me, thanks for all your wishes and i'm feeling great and happy now because i have found a right person who loves me a lot. i've made a new wish yesterday which were hoping for a long-lasting relationship with him and FRIENDSHIPS!!!!

confidence...

Suddenly I feel like I do not belong to the world they were enjoying. I have no memory about my childhood even though I told them that I like reading books when I was young. I don’t have any memory shows what book I like to read or which kind of book I read when I was young. Maybe I lied….i created a “hobby” for my early age. I just know that I used to watch TVB HK drama with family since I have memory. I ignored jy when they were walking back to HUB. I purposely did that because I really didn’t feel like talking to them. They were talking about Disney songs and movies which I didn’t belong to. I believe that there is no fairy tales in the world, as those tales LIE!!!!!! Why must be believe and blissful for living in the world of LIES!?? One reason I ignored him is because I couldn’t fit in their conversation, the other reason is because I’m angry with myself!!!!i angry because I don’t believe on fairy tales…I didn’t like to watch Disney movies because it is full of lies which allow people to live in their imaginations. I’m too realistic because I faced the “ugliness” of this world. The world is very cruel although I’m glad to have jy…but still I’m not secure about our future. He might be one day leave me because he doesn’t love me anymore…I always say my ex jealous when I walked close with other boy is because he has no confidence in himself. But the truth is that I also have no confidence in being a good gf. Now, he is too good for me…he is good in almost everything. I’m stupid, no common knowledge, not good in academic, weak in sports; there is a whole blank in my brain. In short, I’m just 没内涵… I don’t know how long he will still love me with these personalities…

so touch...

Again...he made me feel so touched...he is always the one who helps me whenever i need help especially at the critical moment just like today. no matter is big task or small matter, he is able to help out when i requested for.my tears was circling in my eyes when he helped me on my assignment which was going to due within 15 minutes.i used to find him when i was bored or feel like talking to someone. he always replies me after quite a long time and then i will automatically "disappear" because i dont want to disturb his work. for me, chatting with him is the most blissful moment in my university life. the reason for me always stay online is because i wanted to stay connected with him. i feel so happy seeing his profile picture pops up in my laptop screen although we don't chat that often.at this point, i still have the feeling that i'm dreaming. dreaming of holding hand with him and we laugh sweetly when we see each other. these scenes only appear in my dreams...there is always an instinct feeling asking myself to grab this hand tightly. it may go away if i didn't hold it tightly. i know how lucky i am to have this chance to hold his hand.i must not release it until i leave the world...

cloudy like the sky today...

it has been cloudy for the whole day in Edmonton.my mood for today just like the weather, cloudy and dry...i wasn't sleeping well last night maybe is because i'm quite nervous for this morning's interview in the hospital. luckily the interview went smoothly :) since i wasn't slept well last night, i made him lack of sleep too...i feel so guilty for that. perhaps this is the main reason why i'm moody for the whole day. i shouldn't "stick" with him too much although i miss him always. it is very hard for me to distance him since it was not easy for this relationship to germinate. we're slowly building up the base of this relationship.hopefully everything goes fine :)
in today's english class, we discussed about the "mask". then i realized that actually there are many people wearing their mask in their daily life. i found it very fake and uneasy to pretend. is this the reason for them to protect themselves?? why would them do so?? maybe my heart isn't pure enough, the reason that i can think of is that they are gaining benefit from being wearing the mask. if you know something, why don't you just tell out loud?? pretending to be innocent (or know nothing) is your best way to ignore your responsibilities. you are no longer a kid, you should know that people have no responsibility to help you and he also has his own problem. people, please don't forget to show your gratitude to the people who always help you. don't get me wrong, i'm not the one who help people and hoping for reward. i dislike you for being "INNOCENT" and don't care about the things happening around you!!

感激遇到你

i don't know how to describe me feeling now.it's so sweet and i feel like i don't deserve it. the deeper i know him, the more valiant i think he is. he is such great and nice that makes me feel that i'm very "innocent"- meaning that i know very limited things compared to him. i'm just like a kid when i'm with him. however, his knowledge makes me feel very safe when i'm with him. whenever i have any problem or don't understand something, he will give me answer or if he wasn't sure about that matter, he will seek answer for me. it's too lucky to have him with me. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!:)
although i had one before, but i've never experienced being treat so right by someone who is not my bf. i just can say that i'm very lucky and appreciate everything i'm having now.hope we can have a positive progression soon:P

moody...

how to say...i really don't know how to describe my feeling now...i'm happy that he told me where he was this morning.but he did not reply me when he has reached NY.i know he is busy with his matters, so i just feel a bit upset. Anyway,just hope that everything goes smoothly for him. Today went to senior's place to have dinner,but i did not talk much in his place. Then everyone knows i'm moody. haiz....why i cannot hide all my expressions?i'm just too true and dont know how to act like nothing happen. i'm moody because i miss him...although i rarely see him,but i will online everyday,hoping that he will find me to chat...I know that's really stupid, is like waiting for something almost impossible. hmm...i'd already used to this feeling already,is just disappointment...well,nevermind,because i know that i can forget him when he is not in Edmonton anymore...at least i will try my best to forget him...at his place, i saw his work on his computer. he had wrote some sort of paperwork, for me, it looks like some journal article. it really impressed me,this is my first time to see his work. i know that he is brilliant in many fields, but this article is his hard work, he must has put a lot of efforts in it. i hope he can get a good grade from this paper. all the best for his future.