him...

sad...not because of getting any result today...is because i met with a senior that is smart in his studies. I really can feel the pressure when i talked to him. In fact,i met him because i have some physics questions to ask him....i think this is the only reason i will find him and he will meet and help me...But, when i started asking him about the questions, he said to me,"is so easy..." he also suggested me not to take physics for my second-year. i know he is sincerely advices me, and i also accepted his suggestion that i will drop physics in my second year...is just i'm too tired to take this course...physics is a study about something that are abstract. i cant see force or energy with me.what i can see is just the effect of these concepts...for those who loves and likes physics very much sure will disagree with me. well, this is just my feeling in physics. what really makes me sad is that i feel myself very stupid in front of him...i cant even force myself to give him a smile after he taught me...i have already cried in my heart...but he won't know this feeling...for him,100-level physics course is just a piece of cake,but since i have no strong basic in physics, i found it very hard to follow up...he makes me think of many negative feelings...after he left,i cant hold my tears anymore....i just couldn't...when i came back to room, i did not told Kin what happened to me, cause she will not understand this feeling as she might never feel the feeling of failure after putting hard efforts...this feeling is what i usually experience...i did put in efforts to study,but why it doesn't reflect my efforts in my results?? who can i blame??i know this is no one to blame because this is what i deserved...friends around me are helping me all the times...Kin asked me what reason makes me did not quit from this scholarship, i said:" because i have you guys..." I'm serious... Because i have you guys that supports me all the time,that's why i cant give up...no matter how hard it is, how much i have to sacrifice, i will do my best,continue this studies until i graduate...thank you guys...thanks for the senior as well...he helps me a lot in my studies...undoubtedly, he is giving his advise to me,i appreciate it...