please appreciate what you have now

this message is dictated to the people who do not serious and responsible in a relationship. I feel so angry when i see a friend who always use "break up" as an alibi to attract her bf's attention. i really feel sad and empathy for this guy because he treats my friend so well, and my friend still behave like child, always say something to hurt him. more accurately she just treat this relationship like a game where she is the Queen to dominate in that "game".The problem here is that my friend (the girl) she knows that she will hurt her bf, yet she still doesn't stop her childish behaviour, keep on her "game" as a Queen. I really wish my friend can be more considerate and understand her bf's situation because i don't want to see any of them get hurt. As a gf, i know it is so bad to always lie and say something hurt people. if you really love him, please stop this stupid "game". Just be like other couples because you're not a kid anymore. you know you're doing the wrong thing why don't you correct it????I'm fed up to listen what you're talking about. Lies everywhere and everytime!!!

new semester

feeling bored now, so i just do something which haven't do for a long time. blogging is still my favourite way to express my feeling.i feel upset recently because i'm getting busy with my studies. this results in limiting myself from seeing him. both of us are busy but it seems that i'm the only one feeling lonely. i want to know what he is busy with, but i not dare to ask. i still feel that it is his business,i shouldn't ask more or bother him. Sometimes just feel bad that i miss him, but i dont want to disturb him. i will ask myself some stupid questions: does he miss me too while he is studying? what does he planning to eat as dinner? does he concerns about what i have for meals? and then i will ask myself to stop thinking. i'm busy too, i have many things to do. why am i so concern about him. he is elder than me, he will take care of himself. i don't like the feeling that i miss him. hate this feeling...i plan on visiting Toronto during the winter, but i think it might be canceled. i really wish to travel with him before we apart.i want to have more and more memories traveling with him while we're together. i was disappointed when i knew that he couldn't make it to Toronto this December...new semester is just a nightmare for me. however, i know i must experience this anyway...just hope that i can get used to it, dont miss him too frequent and the end of each semester come faster.

Rain rain~please come ASAP~

it's been a while since my last wrote. i'm so disappointed today because i canceled to visit a strawberry farm outside of Edmonton city. i planed to visit there few days ago since i received an email from Kin about the trip. i was really looking forward and excited to visit that farm because it is a free trip + there is not much chance to visit farm without the organization of some association. haiz....i was really disappointed...But because of the forest fire in BC, whole edmonton covered with strong smoke smell and haze...the visual ability also dropped till very low degree. i hate this haze because it might affect my summer trip to Banff and Jasper with friends. i really hope the trip is still going as there will be not much chance to go with my seniors as they are graduating next year.Mr.Rain, please faster visit Edmonton and Miss Wind, please blows in another direction, brings all the haze away from Alberta. i will appreciate that so much!!

a boring day~

hmm....Starcraft 2 has an impact on my life now because it has "partially" taken Mr. jy away from me...oh well,this might be a good thing for me so that i can focus more on studies to write my essay :)
i'm not jealous or what, because i let him play as long as he doesn't obsessed to it which means he won't play until forget to eat and sleep. sometimes i also show my temper and acting "jealous" just to upset him, because i'm too naughty!hehe :P
since i'm just taking one course for this term, i have much time to practice or improve my cooking skills!so,i stored a lot of food in the fridge so that i can cook it whenever i feel bored. i've tried to make a lot of "home-style" food such as steamed eggs with pork ground,fried fish, pork chop, fried bihun and so on...haha!!guess who is my "white rat"???haha!of course is my poor Mr.Jy lor~haha...okla, so this is what i do when i'm bored!cooking,facebooking,reading books,and sometimes blogging :P
what a relaxing summer for me!!haha~hope you guys enjoy the sunlight as i do here!! :)

birthday~

i have a wonderful birthday celebration yesterday with a person.we went to have hotpot in a restaurant in China Town. i didn't have a birthday party with friends, but still Kin, Jeff and other friends still come to my place wishing me happy birthday!thanks a lot to my friends.i felt surprise because my Beloved Ex-roomate sent me a message from M'sia!!i was really happy and felt so touch because of her~thanks Chook Teng!!!the night before my birthday, he accompanied me and count down for my birthday.i was so happy because he accompanied me for the whole night and gave me a teddy bear as my present.it is so cute and its posture: open up its hands makes me feel like hugging it.it seems like saying: "mama, hug hug!!" because it is black colour, so i called it "o o", meaning "black black" in Hokkien. haha :D
we talked about many things but one of it was talking about how my ex treated me and how was our relationship began.i'm glad that he asked this because he is concerns about my past. of course, there is my turn to ask about his past lo!haha!!he is so adorable and obedient. he told me everything that i asked for. i feel so lucky and contented to look at his face while he was eating. he is just like a child, first time experience to be in love. he also gives me a sense of secure when he told his parents about our relationship. i feel safe and have more confidence in this relationship because i always worry about the long-lasting of our relationship. since he treats me so well, i will appreciate it too.i cooked some food for him because i know him will be very lazy to cook after starcraft 2 published. as expected, he is playing it for the whole day.i'm not angry with him because of his obsession towards the game, surprisingly, i create more space for him to play. i be a messenger to deliver him lunch and dinner that i've cooked. i went back home immediately after seeing him finished the lunch because i don't want to disturb him plays game.
To all my friends who concern me, thanks for all your wishes and i'm feeling great and happy now because i have found a right person who loves me a lot. i've made a new wish yesterday which were hoping for a long-lasting relationship with him and FRIENDSHIPS!!!!

confidence...

Suddenly I feel like I do not belong to the world they were enjoying. I have no memory about my childhood even though I told them that I like reading books when I was young. I don’t have any memory shows what book I like to read or which kind of book I read when I was young. Maybe I lied….i created a “hobby” for my early age. I just know that I used to watch TVB HK drama with family since I have memory. I ignored jy when they were walking back to HUB. I purposely did that because I really didn’t feel like talking to them. They were talking about Disney songs and movies which I didn’t belong to. I believe that there is no fairy tales in the world, as those tales LIE!!!!!! Why must be believe and blissful for living in the world of LIES!?? One reason I ignored him is because I couldn’t fit in their conversation, the other reason is because I’m angry with myself!!!!i angry because I don’t believe on fairy tales…I didn’t like to watch Disney movies because it is full of lies which allow people to live in their imaginations. I’m too realistic because I faced the “ugliness” of this world. The world is very cruel although I’m glad to have jy…but still I’m not secure about our future. He might be one day leave me because he doesn’t love me anymore…I always say my ex jealous when I walked close with other boy is because he has no confidence in himself. But the truth is that I also have no confidence in being a good gf. Now, he is too good for me…he is good in almost everything. I’m stupid, no common knowledge, not good in academic, weak in sports; there is a whole blank in my brain. In short, I’m just 没内涵… I don’t know how long he will still love me with these personalities…

so touch...

Again...he made me feel so touched...he is always the one who helps me whenever i need help especially at the critical moment just like today. no matter is big task or small matter, he is able to help out when i requested for.my tears was circling in my eyes when he helped me on my assignment which was going to due within 15 minutes.i used to find him when i was bored or feel like talking to someone. he always replies me after quite a long time and then i will automatically "disappear" because i dont want to disturb his work. for me, chatting with him is the most blissful moment in my university life. the reason for me always stay online is because i wanted to stay connected with him. i feel so happy seeing his profile picture pops up in my laptop screen although we don't chat that often.at this point, i still have the feeling that i'm dreaming. dreaming of holding hand with him and we laugh sweetly when we see each other. these scenes only appear in my dreams...there is always an instinct feeling asking myself to grab this hand tightly. it may go away if i didn't hold it tightly. i know how lucky i am to have this chance to hold his hand.i must not release it until i leave the world...